Minnesota's social and emotional learning competencies, explained for parents
Alongside subjects like math and science, the Minnesota Department of Education (MDE) gives schools guidance on social and emotional learning (SEL): the skills students use to understand themselves, manage their feelings, get along with others and make caring choices. MDE names five competencies. They are guidance for schools, not academic standards, so each district decides how to use them, and they are not graded.
Self-awareness
Knowing your feelings, strengths, values and interests, and how they shape what you do.
- Feelings. Naming emotions and noticing how they affect your thoughts and actions.
- Identity. Knowing what makes you who you are, including your family, culture and interests.
- Confidence. Seeing your strengths and believing you can grow.
Ideas for home
- Name feelings out loud, yours and theirs: “You look frustrated. Is the puzzle tricky?”
- Ask what your child is proud of this week, and why.
- Talk about a time you got better at something by practicing.
Self-management
Handling feelings, stress and impulses, and working steadily toward goals.
- Calming down. Using a strategy to get calm when feelings are big.
- Goals. Setting a goal and sticking with it, even when it's hard.
- Organizing. Planning time and materials to get things done.
Ideas for home
- Practice a calm-down step together, like three slow breaths or a short walk.
- Help your child set a small weekly goal and check in on it together.
- Use a simple checklist for morning or homework routines.
Social awareness
Understanding other people's feelings and points of view, and respecting people different from you.
- Empathy. Imagining how others feel and seeing things from their point of view.
- Respect. Valuing what makes each person and group unique, and what people share.
- Community. Noticing what your family, school and community need.
Ideas for home
- When reading a story, ask how a character feels and why.
- Talk about a family tradition and one from a friend's family.
- Notice together when someone could use help, and talk about what to do.
Relationship skills
Making and keeping healthy friendships, communicating clearly and working well with others.
- Communication. Listening well and speaking up with care.
- Teamwork. Sharing work, taking turns and helping a group succeed.
- Solving conflicts. Working through disagreements fairly and asking for help when needed.
Ideas for home
- Play a board game and practice taking turns and losing gracefully.
- After a disagreement, talk through what each person wanted and what could work for both.
- Give your child a family job that needs teamwork, like cooking a meal together.
Responsible decision-making
Making thoughtful choices that keep yourself and others safe and well, at home, at school and in the community.
- Thinking ahead. Weighing options and what might happen with each.
- Fairness and safety. Thinking about how a choice affects your own and other people's safety and feelings.
- Helping out. Taking action to help your school and community.
Ideas for home
- Before a family decision, list the options and what might happen with each.
- Wonder out loud together: “What could we do? What might happen next?”
- Plan a small way to help a neighbor or your community, then talk about how it went.
Common questions
No. MDE's SEL competencies are guidance for schools, not academic standards, and they are not graded. Some districts mention work habits or social skills on the report card, but how they do it is up to the district.
Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills and responsible decision-making. Schools build them in every grade, often through classroom routines, morning meetings and advisory time.
No. Each district and school decides how to build these skills, so ask your child's teacher or counselor what your school does.
No. Gradelings practices subject skills in math, English language arts, science and social studies. Its kind hints, small goals and calm options can help children stick with hard things, but social and emotional skills grow through conversation, play and teamwork, so we suggest home activities rather than scores.
Ask your child's teacher or school counselor how the school builds these skills and what you can do at home. MDE's website has its social and emotional learning guidance.
Next: understand the Minnesota report card levels or browse all Minnesota parent guides. Gradelings practices subject skills; social and emotional skills grow through conversation, play and everyday responsibilities.
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