Washington's Social Emotional Learning standards, explained for parents
Alongside subjects like math and science, OSPI has six Social Emotional Learning (SEL) standards: the skills students use to understand themselves, manage their feelings and get along with others. Schools build them into everyday learning. They describe how students grow over time and are not meant for grading or labeling children.
Self-Awareness
Recognizing your own feelings, strengths and areas for growth, and knowing where to find support.
- Emotions. Naming feelings and noticing how they affect what you do.
- Identity. Knowing your strengths, goals, culture and languages.
- Supports. Understanding how family, school and community shape you and can help.
Ideas for home
- Name feelings out loud, yours and theirs: “You look frustrated. Is the puzzle tricky?”
- Ask your child what they are good at and what they want to get better at.
- Talk about the people your child can go to for help, at home and at school.
Self-Management
Handling feelings, thoughts and actions, and making responsible choices.
- Managing emotions. Calming down, handling stress and controlling impulses in healthy ways.
- Responsible decisions. Thinking through choices and solving problems.
Ideas for home
- Practice a calm-down step together, like three slow breaths or a short walk.
- When something goes wrong, ask “What could we try next time?”
- Let your child make small choices and talk about how they turned out.
Self-Efficacy
Staying motivated, sticking with hard things and believing you can learn.
- Goals. Setting a goal, checking progress, adjusting and keeping going.
- Problem solving. Working through challenges responsibly in different situations.
- Self-advocacy. Speaking up for yourself and asking for what you need.
Ideas for home
- Help your child set a small weekly goal and check in on it together.
- Praise effort and strategies: “You tried a new way when the first one didn't work.”
- Practice asking for help: what to say to a teacher when something is confusing.
Social Awareness
Understanding how others feel and respecting people whose lives differ from yours.
- Empathy. Noticing other people's feelings and points of view.
- Respect. Respecting similarities and differences between people and groups.
- Context. Understanding that people act differently in different places and situations.
Ideas for home
- When reading a story, ask how a character feels and why.
- Read books and watch shows about families and communities different from yours.
- Talk about how rules and manners change between home, school and other places.
Social Management
Building healthy relationships, communicating clearly and working through conflict.
- Communication. Listening, taking turns and expressing ideas respectfully.
- Healthy relationships. Making friends and recognizing unhealthy situations.
- Conflict. Working through disagreements in respectful ways.
Ideas for home
- Play a board game and practice taking turns and losing gracefully.
- Role-play what to say when a friend is unkind or a game isn't fair.
- After a disagreement, talk through what each person wanted and what could work for both.
Social Engagement
Caring about others and helping your school and community.
- Belonging. Feeling part of a school and community, and helping others feel included.
- Teamwork. Working with others to set and reach shared goals.
- Contributing. Taking part in making school, home and the community better.
Ideas for home
- Give your child a real job at home that helps the whole family.
- Do something kind for a neighbor together, then talk about how it felt.
- Plan a small family project together and share out the tasks.
Common questions
No. OSPI says the SEL standards and indicators are not meant for formally assessing or labeling students. Some districts mention work habits or social skills on the report card, but how they do it is up to the district.
Self-Awareness, Self-Management and Self-Efficacy are about yourself. Social Awareness, Social Management and Social Engagement are about getting along with others and your community. Each standard has two or three benchmarks, with examples for each grade band.
No. Gradelings practices subject skills in math, English language arts, science and social studies. Its kind hints, small goals and calm options can help children stick with hard things, but social emotional skills grow through conversation, play and teamwork, so we suggest home activities rather than scores.
Ask your child's teacher or school counselor how the school teaches social emotional skills and what you can do at home. OSPI's website has the full standards, benchmarks and indicators.
Next: understand the Washington report card levels or browse all Washington parent guides. Gradelings practices subject skills; social emotional skills grow through conversation, play and everyday responsibilities.
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